Two.

Today my middle babe turns two! I remember the day she was born so vividly. She was a scheduled section so I had loads of time to plan for her arrival. That totally worked with my control issues.
The one thing I could not control was the 4 feet of snow on the ground! I begged and pleaded with the fella that plows our driveway to please make sure we could get out. You see, we had to be at the hospital at 5am. Normally, the hospital is a quick 15-20 hop over the mountain into town. This day was not normal. At all. It took us an hour.
Once we were there I felt like I could breathe a bit easier. My doc had spent the night to be sure she waa there. Ahh, I was starting to relax. I knew what to expect from here. I'd done this before. Everything was planned. Perfect.
Well that all came to a screeching halt when my beautiful babe finally greeted us. That first cry that every mama holds her breath waiting for, didn't sound quite right. It was bubbly. She was crying, loudly, but something just sounded off to me. Hubs had to go with her to get checked out and for all the routine weigh ins and such while they finished putting me back together. Finally, an hour later, I was able to hold her in my arms. That was the first time she stopped crying. I still tear up thinking about that moment, that realization, that she really did know me. She knew my voice and was calmed immediately by it. How absolutely amazing it is to be blessed with the gift of carrying and giving birth to a babe!

It was a short lived bliss. The nurse noticed that she was having trouble breathing. They couldn't really tell before because she was crying with such gusto. She was wisked away to be checked out and I was left with a painfully empty space on my chest. I had no idea it would be 3 days before I could hold her in that space again. She had fluid in her lungs and developed pnemonia. She was on oxygen and loads of monitors and slowly, her condition improved. I spent as much time as I could sitting with her in the Max Care Unit but my body needed to heal and more time than I cared for was spent alone in my room. The oldest babe needed her daddy, he couldn't stay with me forever. The staff of the hospital was amazing and I'm certain they are the only reason I survived the whole thing with my sanity. I was able to usher in my milk supply, even without the suckling babe that it was intended for.
We spent a week in the hospital. I can't tell you how many times I prayed for her to "just be ok" to come home with me and be healthy. I knew that respitory issues in such a young babe could have life long effects.
Two years later she is perfect! She is strong, active and healthy. As far as we can tell she has no residual effects from those first few difficult days. I can't help but to compare her to her older sister as she grows up. I am realizing though, that each of my babes is their own. I am reminded everyday at just how blessed I am with  my three healthy babes.
Happy Birthday Everlee Jaymes! We love you.